Common questions about therapy

What is therapy?

Talking therapy is a safe and confidential space for you to explore your inner world, work through any issues you are having and gain a clearer perspective of your life. A therapist acts as a companion and guide on this journey, helping you to gain clarity and understanding. Therapy can help you learn new coping skills, manage your emotions effectively and change unhelpful behaviours and thoughts.

What issues can therapy help with?

Any issues that affect you can be discussed in therapy, such as grief, depression, anxiety, relationships, work, family, mental and physical health diagnoses, past traumas, childhood experiences, food and eating problems, addiction, stress, self-esteem, fertility, life choices and transitions, thought patterns, spirituality, the list is endless!

If you could benefit from further support and/or specialist help, a good therapist will signpost or refer you for this.

How can therapy help me?

Please see my article here.

How do I know which type of therapy I should have?

There are many different types of therapy, the main difference being which techniques are used and the underlying philosophy. Some therapies are thought to work better for different problems, for example CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) can be helpful in identifying and changing problematic thoughts and behaviours. DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy) is thought to be helpful for personality disorders and emotional regulation.

Here is an NHS article giving information on common types of therapy:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/types-of-talking-therapies/

Here is a Mind article with some simple explanations of different modalities:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/talking-therapy-and-counselling/types-of-talking-therapy/

What will work best for you is dependant on your personality, preferences, and most importantly, the relationship you have with your therapist. If you are lost in which therapy to choose, I suggest that you do a little research, see what type of therapy resonates with you and then speak to a couple of different therapists to get a sense of whether you might be a good fit. Alternatively, dive in and try out a session and see whether it feels right for you.

Are my problems 'bad enough' for therapy?

Therapy is for everyone, you don't need to be going through a crisis or have a mental health diagnosis to benefit from it. In fact, therapy can help you manage life difficulties better and even prevent an emerging mental health problem from getting bigger.

In the past there has been a stigma about seeking help, but this has changed in recent years. If you take measures to improve your physical health, such as going for a dental checkup or going to the gym, why not do the same for your mental and emotional health?

Are my problems 'too big' for therapy?

Professional and ethical therapists are always monitoring their 'limits of proficiency' in their work. This means that they will signpost or refer you for specialist help if you are dealing with something that they are not equipped to help you with. However, therapists will often work alongside other healthcare services such as psychiatrists, GPs and support workers to create a network of support for you. It's important to let your healthcare providers know what type of therapy you are having, so it can work alongside any other treatments.

If you are worried that your problem is 'too big' or 'too complex' for therapy, reach out and ask! You are a whole and unique human being, not just a diagnosis.

What can I expect in my first therapy session?

In your first session your therapist will likely ask you questions about what has brought you to therapy at this time, any previous experiences getting help, and what your goals and expectations are. If you're not sure, that's ok; finding clarity on what you want and need can be part of therapy.

The first session is important in creating a 'therapeutic alliance' with your therapist, which means that you are both working towards the same goal and building a trusting relationship. It's completely normal to be nervous about your first session and to not be sure what to say, especially if you're not used to having time entirely dedicated to you.

What does therapy feel like?

Relieving, nerve-wracking, energising, uncomfortable, calming, unsettling, empowering, difficult, fun! Any and all emotions are welcomed; there is no right or wrong way to feel.

The process of growth and change can feel uncomfortable at times because it's new and different. It can also feel exciting and freeing! You might feel tired after therapy, or refreshed; it's completely individual.

Will we focus on specific topics, and should I prepare in advance for therapy?

This will depend on what goals you've agreed with your therapist. You might start by talking about the specific topics that brought you to therapy, but end up discovering that you also want to work on other areas. You might not be sure about what topic you want to talk about, in which case your therapist may guide you.

How often should I come to therapy?

Once a week is a good place to start, but this is individual and dependant on your needs, your availability and the way your therapist works. Many people come twice a week, and some fortnightly or monthly. I suggest making a commitment to weekly therapy at the beginning, to build a consistent and strong relationship with your therapist, then reviewing your progress regularly and adjusting according to how much support you need.

There is no shame in asking for more frequent support, or coming back to therapy after a break. Personal growth is a lifelong process and progress is not always linear. In my practice you will always be welcomed, and met wherever you at in your process.

How many therapy sessions should I have?

Ideally you’d have as many therapy sessions as you feel you need, however time and cost constraints are limitations that most people face. In your first session your therapist will likely talk to you about your goals and a timeframe to work towards, with reviews as you go along.

Therapy can be of great benefit and help whether you come for a single session, for 12 weeks or for multiple years, but the number of sessions you have is ultimately up to you.

How do I know if therapy is working?

Generally the goal of coming to therapy is to improve wellbeing, so feeling better is a good indicator that it is working. However it’s important to note that if you’re speaking about difficult topics and emotions that you’ve previously not explored, you may not feel better immediately. Increased self awareness can be a journey of ups and downs, but if you stick with it, the rewards are well worth the effort!

Everyone will have different goals in therapy, such as improved self acceptance, seeking clarity, reduced anxiety, a change in negative behaviours or thought patterns. Personally, I love to see clients feel more empowered, with a sense of more choice and agency in their lives.

What should I do if I think therapy isn't working?

Firstly, talk to your therapist if you're concerned that therapy isn't helping you. It may be useful to clarify, review or refocus on what your goals are, as they may have changed since you started. A good therapeutic relationship involves honesty and feedback, and your therapist should be open to hearing what is and isn't working for you.

It might be that the type of therapy isn't the right fit for your goals, in which case changing approach could be helpful. For example, CBT may be more effective for short term work on challenging thoughts, whereas psychoanalysis may be more suited to delving into and untangling your past.

Or it might be that your therapist isn't the right match for you. Research suggests that the relationship with your therapist is the most important factor in its effectiveness. It's vitally important that you feel safe, heard and have trust in your practitioner. Don't be afraid to change therapists, though do pay attention if you often get to a certain point in therapy and want to change, as this could indicate there is a block that could be worked through and is worth persevering with.

How do I know when it's time to end therapy?

This is individual and dependant on your reason for seeking out therapy. If you've come to work on a short term issue which has been resolved after 6 sessions, you might feel that therapy has served its purpose and want to move on.

If you have longer term goals, or are seeking therapy for the purposes of personal growth, self awareness, or regular support, an end point may not be as clear. In which case, talk with your therapist about endings when it starts to cross your mind. They may suggest reducing the frequency of your therapy, or taking a break for a month and seeing how you feel. There is no right or wrong, and the beauty of therapy is that it's all about you, your needs and figuring out the individual, personalised approach that works for you.

I hope this post has been helpful, but please feel free to get in touch with any other questions about therapy.

Chloe 🌱